So this morning as I was walking the dogs this feeling came over me that was overwhelming. I missed the time when the kids were little, toddlers. I missed the timespan so much I ached. I have never had that feeling before. I am thankful for all the fun things I did with the kids when they were little. Marissa graduates this year and I'm sure that has something to do with it. I saw Em yesterday too and that was nice but short lived. She sat on my lap for a bit while we were looking at the computer and I just hugged her and rested my head on her back. Nice. I heard from Tara and that made me miss her all over again. It's so hard because part of me wants to pick up and go to Colorado and part of me says then you'll miss Em and Marissa. I think it would help if I were able to visit a couple times a year and they came here a couple times. I'm sure it'll all work out. I've decided to pursue a Master's in Voc. Rehab Counseling from University of Wisconsin but can't do it until 08 cuz they are filled up. It's an online program but you go there the first week in August for orientation. I'm sure I thought of school because Sept. is around the corner and I have always loved learning. Who the heck knows? I heard something today that kind of hit me," I am what I have" I never want to be defined by what I have. I always want to be defined by the lives I've touched and I want my legacy to be as an encourager, believer, supporter. It's a good day to live MacDougal.

Okay here's my moving story of the week.I went to church today and at the beginning of the summer Rev. Spence asked us to write down our favorite hymns and he said we'd have a countdown. Well turns out the top five were Christmas Carols so today we had Christmas in August. The children's sermon was about this children's hospital in NYC that had nothing for children to have in their cribs by way of stuffed animals. Rev. Spence asked the kids to bring in small stuffed animals and they would get them to NYC in 2 weeks. I instantly thought what a wonderful home for Tara's beanies. They would be with some child in NYC and that's where she spent last summer student teaching AND that's where Tim spent his final days. As we went through the service the last song we sang was, ( you guessed it) Joy to the World. That was the song that we sang at Tim's service and then kept hearing at the most appropriate times. I had tears streaming down my face as I sang. That served as confirmation that the beanies belonged in NYC. ( I'll ask Tara first of course). I applied for a Guidance Counselor position with the Department of Defense in Colorado Springs yesterday. I'll know on the 28th what my ranking is. We'll see what lies in store . What an adventure. Dave and Tara are getting really domesticated. Dave got a new car and they are getting a puppy. Em is staying super busy with school but this is her last semester. What a lucky mommy I am to have such wonderful; daughters. Marissa, Travis and I went to Arts in the Garden yesterday. That was alot of fun. It was nice getting to know Travis a little better. I gave a tour to them because I had job coached there one year and I got to know alot about the place. It is indeed a good day to live MacDougal.

Well what a week. VBS was great. I had so much fun with the kids. They all learned words and music to the songs, even the little ones and it was the cutest thing I have ever seen!!! On Tuesday I was walking to Shelly's office when all of a sudden I felt a loss of balance and then when I spoke my words came out like nonsense even though I knew what I was saying. I waited it out, got through the day and mentioned it to mom and Steve who insisted I see a doctor on Wednesday. I called the Doc to make appt. and she said go straight to the ER. So I spent from 9:30 - 4:30 at the ER, had a Cat scan, ultrasound of my Corotid Artery and lots of blood work and lo and behold I had a TIA. I have to follow up with the neurologist on Tuesday. All I could think was, Here we go again!. I didn't tell anyone until Wednesday night because I wanted a diagnosis first.I am feeling fine now. Rev. Spence asked me how I was feeling last night and I said "Good" and he said ( this cracks me up) " You're lying to me" Isn't that hysterical? He said " you know we love you and we are praying for you" How special is that folks? Dawn called me this morning and that was so nice. I mean how rich am I?? Wealthy beyond measure. It's a good day to live MacDougal!!!!

The first day of Bible School was fantastic. Now I understand Tara's passion for teaching. Our churches VBS ( Vacation Bible School) has got to be the best around. No kidding they have it set up to feel as if you are in the Old West. The kids go from one area to the next so they all start out in the Sanctuary for opening songs and dances, then they go to theatre or crafts or chuckwagon or games and the fun begins at 6 . It ends at 8:30 in the sanctuary with closing song and dance. You end up losing your voice because you're shouting so much. Last night we did the story about Rahab and spies so I asked the kids, " Have you ever spied on anyone?" This one little girl raised her hand and said I spied on my mother and sister once when they were talking cuz I could hear everything they said through a vent. They were talking about secret stuff." Then Pat my co-leader said, " What did they say?' I said , PAT!!!!!!!!!!!' It was pretty funny. Okay that's my update today. I've got a pretty busy week so I'll do my best to keep you posted this way. It's a GREAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT Day to live MacDougal!!!!!
2:49 AM

I've been doing some per diem work back at FLACRA in the Voc. Dept. and it feels good. I think it made me realize my passion is actually in the vocational world not so much substance abuse. Then I'm looking at jobs and I see the VA in Canandaigua is looking for a Vocational Counselor. HMMMMMMMM?! Of course I began the application but I only have until tomorrow to complete it. This positionsays temporary but I spoke to my friend who works there and she said shortly there will be 3 permanent vacancies. So we'll see. I'm not getting my hopes up this time. But if I do get this I could always transfer to a colorado facility if I so chose down the road. New topic... There was a big article in Friday's paper about Steve Cady's family and the Steam Pageant and then today there was a picture of Steve and his son Caleb ( around 2 years old? ) on a tractor. That was a blast from the past. Things change quickly. So fun to see what the next page is. I'm getting ready for Vacation Bible School this week. The church is decorated in a Western theme. OVER THE TOP!!! Covered wagon, log cabin, I mean it's like an amusement park. Marissa went with me yesterday to help set up. That was fun. Ok for now.... It's a good day to live peeps!!!!!!

Well yesterday was rather terrible. I went TO FLACRA to see about doing part time work and walked away feeling so terrible about myself it wasn't funny. It was like I was begging them for a job in a department I created and successfully ran for nine years. Then I had mom stick dinner in the oven at 6 after having preset it. Turns out I set the oven on 500. No dinner!!!!!!Steve and I ended up laughing about it before I went to sleep but.....
Onto this morning . Got a call from Mickey saying Bill said they'd love to have me doing 19 hours per week while they find someone full time and that could take awhile so I can earn some extra money while I build up my Cookie Lee. Yeah!!!!!! Life is funny huh? You pretty much have to ride out an occasional bad day cuz a good one is right around the corner. It is a good day to live MacDougal.

Well I've moved on from Tully and it feels good to have closure. I'm(get ready cuz this is going to be hard to believe coming from me) going to start selling jewelry again - Cookie Lee. I'm also trying to pick up part time hours at FLACRA doing Vocational Counseling. I'm going to be teaching First Place at church on Wednesdays this September ( Diet Class) so I'm thinkin that this was the plan all along. Who knows what the year will bring? Mom and Scot looked at a place in Gypsum Mills yesterday. The idea is mom would spend overnights with Scot and Brenda. That would give us all a break from each other. We'll see what's in the cards. It's a good day to live MacDougal.