life in clifton
Well I'm back from the big city with plenty to tell so I'm gonna do it in small doses so I don't lose ya. First my flight was delayed in Rochester for five hours. That made us miss our show but I heard so many stories of people saving for trips that they were going to miss that I thought my situation isn't all that bad. I met a lady named Mae while I was waiting and we shared a cab into the city. She had just finished getting radiation for cancer this past winter. So that was a gift(meeting her I mean). When I got off the plane and saw Tara I was literally awestruck. She looked so glamourous. Now how can I put this? All weekend long I found myself thinking she is really worldly now. She reminds me of what I know of Tim's transformation when he left home and hit the Big Apple. Every experience to him was a thrilling adventure. It just seemed like Tara was literally following in his footsteps. I absolutely felt his presence. Tara knows what she wants and she has the confidence to get it. It was fine by me that we missed Ave Q. It was a priceless time just seeing Tara. I'm not sure how I did on my test but it definitely wasn't easy. We'll see. Oh Friday we finally ate at 11:30 at the Japanese place where you take your shoes off and cook your food. The one disturbing thing was that they only had chopsticks and I ate my tossed salad with them. It was a fun experience. Nice because if I had the option I'd eat with a fork. I could almost hear Tim say, " No, you gotta eat with chopsticks to experience it fully. By Saturday I was relaxed and absolutely enjoyed the day. Ok I'm trying to get caught up on some stuff so I'll write later. It is absolutely a Good Day To Live, MacDougal!!!!!

life in clifton
I had my haircut and colored today and that was fun hanging with Kris. This morning I had to kick a few people out for using on the unit today and then I got in line behind one of them buying beer tonight. A little uncomfortable! Last nights book reading was great. It really hit home. All about taking time from rushing to be still. This weekend I go to NYC and I am off the chain with excitement. Last night at the dinner table Riss said, " You have the best sense of humor" I said thanks Riss and she said Em doesn't think you do but I told her you were funny. Isn't it interesting how people see us so differently. Please send prayers for my test on Saturday. It's a good day to live!!!!!

life in clifton
well missy is laying on my lap so i guess it will be all little letters tonight. i have one arm cradling her. tara and i decided we'd go see avenue q. i just realized this is the first time in my life i've flown alone. i guess i'm a big girl now. i'm getting excited and nervous at the same time. i had rotary today and that was fun. still no word on new jobs. i guess i just have to be patient but it's so hard when i feel so stagnate where i am now. joe shared a story today about how his son got engaged over the weekend. he gave his girlfriend this jewelry box that was engraved but the engraving was wrong so when she opened it and showed it to him he flipped a cog and said, " damn those guys. i hope they got this right. so she opens up a smaller jewelry box that's engraved with what will be her new last name. it had a ten thousand dollar diamond inside and he asked her to marry him. pretty nice huh? ok now get this story .joe has a rosary he takes on vacation with him and this year he forgot it. they vacation at a cabin in the middle of nowhere so day one he goes on the dock to go fishing and there's a guy sitting there making guess what rosarys. joe traded a mess of fish for one. powerful story right? joe said the guy told him he'd been making them for months and this was the first one he sold. i guess the guy loved fish but said he didn't have the patience to fish so he was happy. you see it's a good day to live macdougal.

life in clifton
For some reason I thought Tara and Dave would get engaged this weekend. All in due time if it's meant to be I spose... I took Riss to the camera shop today and then she drove home from Waterloo. not too shabby. It was a bear of a day at work. Nothing but meetings and I HATE DAYS LIKE THAT!!!!! What a waste. Micromanagement doesn't suit me. Em is really feeling sick and I want to go up and help take care of her but I realize she has a husband now and that's not my role anymore. So I pray that she'll be well soon and that she feels my presence. After reading Tara's blog I pray she feels my hug in NYC. I can't wait to see her this weekend and I know I'll cry when I see her and I know I'll cry when she says good bye. My babies... growing up, entering the world, making their mark and leaving indelible footprints upon my heart. My life's one great success.... It truly is a good day to live MacDougal.

life in clifton
It was a rainy day today which was kinda nice because it gave me an excuse to clean and study. God Knows if the sun was out I'd do neither. Riss and I had a nice talk today. I'm starting to see more similarities than differences between us and that's nice.Dave arrived safely in NYC and it sounds like he and Tara are having fun. Em called this morning and said she had a sore throat. Poor baby! I told her to eat chicken noodle soup and popsicles. Sounded like she was just lying low as well. I'm not going to drone on about nothing so I'll leave with.... It's a good day to live MacDougal!!!!!!

life in clifton
I took today off and it felt fantastic! I went grocery shopping and then did some cleaning. Nothing too exciting. When I was at the store I loaded up on magazines and spent a good part of the day reading. I also dropped my immunization record off at Dr. Power's office to be completed for Empire and they called me saying they have no record of me having an MMR so I have to go to the lab on Tuesday and have a blood draw. Next week is filling up fast with activity. I hope I hear something about a job interview soon. I'm looking forward to cooking a nice dinner for Steve tonight and enjoying some alone time while mom is with Scot. It can be tough on a relationship to have a 71 year old around. I know that sounds horrible but it is a stressor. Ok enough said. It's a good day to live MacDougal!!!!

life in clifton
Today was my last day with Brenda Rider so I took her to lunch at the Clifton Country club. They were having a tournament so they were really serving lunch but the head guy said we could stay and have buffet. It was fantastic. Sandwich stuff and mac salad but it was just the two of us. We talked, laughed and just generally had a good time. I will miss her but hopefully I'll be soon to follow. Em did well on her interview at RIT today so it's hers if she wants it and it pays better than what she thought too. Tara has a busy day today. She's going to see a play with a teacher. Then tomorrow Dave flys down very early. It's thundering now so I hope all travel is a go with no delays for tomorrow. I'm really getting excited for next week. I CAN FINALLY SAY NEXT WEEK. Before I know it I will be there and back. It's a good day to Live MacDougal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

life in clifton
It was a nice day today. I took it off from work and did some yard work, went to Mexican day with Em & Riss, laughed alot and just generally enjoyed the sunshine. John , the CEO of the hospital sent me a couple of e-mails regarding my resume so that was nice. I went to the Book reading at church. Always nice to meet new people and get to know them. Em's interview at RIT is tomorrow so let's keep her in prayer. I think Tara and Dave will have a riot this weekend. Can't wait to hear all about it. It's a good day to live MacDougal.

life in clifton
Wow!!!!! I must proof my blogs. Tara was having problems with long distance banKing. How red is my face???? It's still a good day to live MacDougal!!!!!

life in clifton
So I had lunch with Barb Oliver and she doesn't sound too convincing about me as Director of Behavioral Health. She said she tought they were looking for a medical person. All I can do is see. Perhaps I was destined for Hobart. I'm placing it in God's hands. Pretty uneventful day. I also e-mailed Rev. Spence about how much is lacking for the new sound system at church. I'd love to make a big contribution towards that. Tara is struggling with long distance banging and I know how frustrating that is. Last year when we were in NYC my card that I knew had plenty of funds wasn't working at the hotel. Phone calls were made left and right and finally due to an act of God it worked. It's just so frustrating cuz you're so far away from being able to do anything about it. We really have become a society dependent upon computers and technology. Em had a fantastic opportunity dropped in her lap today to work with people at RIT that will be in a position to help her career. No coincidence .. It's a good day to live MacDougal.

life in clifton
It was unbelieveably hot today. I think that I will jump in the pool when I get home. I made it through a Monday at work without feeling too frazzled. The kid that I spoke to on Friday was admitted and managed to stay for 2 whole hours. Oh well we tried. I am getting so excited about New York. Sounds like Tara has at least a plan of where we'll eat. I've been studying like a mad woman for the exam. My weakness seems to be counseling theory. Ok It's a good day to live MacDougal!!!!

life in clifton
I went for my walk this morning and it's HOTTER THAN BLAZES!!!!! Even at 7a.m.. Then I went to church and grocery shopping. I made Greens and Beans for lunch. It was great. Then get this, I went by the pool for 3 hours. I should say I went in the pool. I watched Em's wedding video and cried in the very spots I cried in on the day she got married. I still marvel at Tara's speach.It was also nice to see Tim singing. As I look at that tape he doesn't look sick at all. I've said for most of my life that it's important to live each day and that's a shining example. As Tim would say, " Never say I shoulda. I really want a copy of Shoes. Someday it will be found. Tara, you should ask Ray to do a search again. Maybe you could even help him. Ok so my signature line is not going over so great. Instead of Let's be careful out there how's, " It's a good day to live, MacDougal........

life in clifton
Ok so I missed a blog day! I really needed to chill. I became so stressed with work on Thursday that I decided to put in for some time off (I have 3 months leave time accumulated) and take Friday off. I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF THAT PLACE!!!!!!! I'm hearing the hospital is conducting a nationwide search so we'll see what happens with that. Hobart is also still a possibility. There's no doubt in my mind that something will present itself. As Em wrote in her blog we went shopping today. It was a nice day to spend just doing absolutely nothing. This is Tara's last weekend with no guests in NYC so she better be navigating the city for us.Sounds like she's found some great places to eat. I take my NCAC II test on the 29th so that's what takes me to her.Here's my story of the day: I tried calling into work today but for some reason the phones were down so I went in to tell them I'd be off. As I get there there's this guy screaming profanitys at Joe. I am far from professionally dressed but I ask the guy to step into my office. He comes in and says if I can't get in here today I'm never coming in. I tell him our beds are full and we have a wait list of 25. I then said if you're not coming in then go home and drink and drink and drink.... He stops dead in his tracks and says how can you say that? I said if you don't keep drinking you are going to experience extreme discomfort and you will also sooner or later get some consequences and that WILL bring you back. He says OK then I'll be on the list. The team was in hysterics because this guy was being so loud and obnoxious and they had been working with him since 6 a.m. with no results. I guess that brings us to why I had to go into work because the phone lines were down. No coincidences. Let's be careful out there!!!!

life in clifton
I sent my resume to the hospital yesterday. I went to lunch ( Mexican Day) with Em and Riss and that was fun. After lunch we went to Em's to check out her new room set up. Very nice. And let's definitely pray about the wedding video. Tim, Come on now give us this. We really want your beautiful voice captured on tape. Also while you're at it can you gift us with a copy of SHOES? It's ironic that the purpose for these blogs was Tara and then she's the one who can't access them. I went to the first weeks study of Cure for the Common Life at church tonight and it was great. There's about 10 women there and it goes for 3 weeks so I hope to get to know a few more people. I'll write later. Let's be careful out there.

life in cliftonOK first Tara got her Nintendo, Thank God!!. Today I walked using Marissa's ipod and what a difference. I was really energized. On my walk I went by the hospital and thought , If I could have any job it would be Joe Wilson's as Director of Behavioral Health. Immediately I thought , He's not going anywhere but when I got to work I went to the hospital's website and ;looked at job openings. There it was in black and white; Director of Behavioral Health. I couldn't even believe it. My energy level and enthusiasm increased and I smiled at work for the first time in several days. If nothing else it served as a reminder to me that God answers all prayers. It may not be the answer we're searching for but He hears. We'll see what His answer is. I went to the library and took out 6 books on cover letters/ resumes after work. I'm putting a great deal of effort into this. Tara is getting more and more frustrated without a computer. Tomorrow she should have Em's package with some antivirus software so that should help. Casey and Jenn sent us pictures of Cam and she is so cute. She's walking now and wanting to look at books. It made my day to see her pictures. Let's Be Careful Out There!!!!!!

life in clifton
Oh My God today was insane at work. Here's the most frustrating part: I had to go to a Manager's meeting so I silenced my phone and I kept looking at it to see I was missing calls from all three of my children. I wanted to jump through the phone to get to them. When I got back to the office I was once again literally running everywhere. I was supposed to be visited by Holly to review Amy's program tomorrow but Amy left a message saying she was out on medical leave til at least Thursday. Great so I go to get her charts to review and find less than 10. I told Bill and Marty I was going to postpone with Holley and Holley was gracious enough to reschedule. I finally got to talk to the girls. I actually got to see Em who was kind enough to take Riss driving and to her Eye appointment. She was a lifesaver. Riss cuddled up with me tonight and we had an awesome dinner in which Steve told us all about his first day on the new job. He's at work until 5 now so that's an adjustment for him.Riss is making me an ipod section for my walks. Can't wait to listen to it. Sometimes she really surprises me. Oh and get this Tara got her boots that I sent the day after her Nintendo but no Nintendo yet. THAT THING IS CURSED. I SWEAR!!!!! OK tomorrow is Rotary and I'm looking forward to it. I'll tell ya all about it. Stay safe!!!!!! Let's be careful out there!!!

life in clifton
OK before you all think I lost five pounds overnight(Em) let me clarify. Apparently the scales were wrong when I had weighed myself and I had gained 5. I haven't lost orgained. This morning I was awakened at 4 by my cell phone ringing and there being problems at work. I'm getting soooooooo...... stressed by what's happening there but I feel as if everything's coming to a cresendo and something's gotta give. I'm just trying to hang on. I'm starting a study of the book Cure for a common life by Max Lucado. It's being done on Wednesday nights at church. I'm sure that'll give me a little insight. Today Em, mom & I went to Rachael's shower and it was actually pretty nice. I generally dread going to those events but it was nice to see how Denise had changed and nice to spend time with Em. When I got home Steve had mowed the yard and had Riss drive into work. Both very nice surprises. Tomorrow is his first day on the new job. I'm excited for him. It'll be nice for him to be involved in education. Tara is so frustrated about her computer situation. I swear she would throw it off the promenade if she could. Sge was seeing Ray and Rhoda Renee today so I'm sure that will lift her spirits. Ok. I need to get going. Happy trails.......

life in clifton
So I step on the scales this morning and it was five pounds less than last night. YEAH!!!! Iwent for a walk with Steve this morning, mailed out Tara's package and then ran into town to get a few things. Riss had to be to work at 11 and I was late getting her there. I felt terrible. So when I got home I was rushing around like a maniac muttering under my breath how I'm sick of all the responsibility when I went running in from the garage, slipped and fell and swung the door open knocking a picture to the floor and shattering the glass. I stopped regained my composure and said God is telling me to stop this and spent the rest of the day in the pool. All was fantastic until I got stung by a bee and my hand swelled to the size of Texas. Marissa got home at 1:30 this morning and I'm struggling with that. I think she's way too young to be out that late and Em and Tarta never got to be out past midnight so it goes against my values. I try to be understanding yet at the same time I am the mom. I know Riss is responsible I just would never forgive myself if something happened to her. Sometimes when we are Just Us and talking she makes me laugh, she makes me think and I generally feel like ok we got it but at other times there seems to be a great divide between us. I know it was like that with Em and Tara too and now we get along fantastic so time will tell. Steve said at the dinner table tonight, " You know I think you have the best relationship with your twenty somethings.... I mean I don't know of anyone who has a closer relationship with their children. " That felt nice to hear. Mom said it's because we've been through alot together but I think it's deeper than that. I adore the human beings my children have turned out to be. I genuinely admire them and it has nothing to do with the fact that they are my children. They are neat, compassionate, funny and beautiful.. I am so blessed and I will never take that for granted. I am rich beyond measure.

life in clifton
I took mom to the doctor's today and decided to blow off the rest of the day of work. When I got home I hung out by the pool. I also started to complete my Empire application. I've got to write two essays so the fun begins already but I love exercising my brain. I walked again this morning five miles 3/3 days. Yeah for me. Riss drove to East Rochester in driver's ed. Yeah for her. Tara shopped all day and soaked up NYC. Yeah for her. Ok gotta go for now.

life in clifton
Today I got up and walked another five miles before going to work. Then when I got to work my team told me that the 15 year olds Pat had hired to purge our files goofed up. They were supposed to get rid of client charts that were 1999 and older and my team found 2006 charts in the to be shredded file. OOOOps! I went to lunch with Em today and laughed my hiney off. I decided I would print out all the blogs and make a book so that's a project. Steve is enjoying his last few days off prior to the start of his new job. Lucky duck. Tara seems to be taking on NYC and is even talking about taking Belly dancing classes. She saw a rat at the subway today .OH MY GAWD!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I will die if I see one. Riss is doing better and better at driving. Ok I've got to get going cuz Big Brother's on and it's the thing to do if your life is on back order.

life in clifton
I am absolutely exhausted today. Most of the day I was literally running. One crisis after another.The end of my guy brought a gentleman looking for help who was 57 years old. He said he was married eight times and I almost saluted him. Ha! Ha! Tara got her package YEAH!!!! She said she had a rough day. She was on her way to the cruise. I think she'll sleep good tonight! I'm making a commitment to have lunch with Em tomorrow. I've got to stop the insanity. Ok I'm going to get going so that I can't just rest.

life in clifton
I finally have something powerful to share in my blog. I went to Wegman's this morning and debated on getting a Santa Fe Dip and decided against it. I went to Tops and met Steve to finish shopping and Em called and said she was coming down. I decided to go back and get the dip after tanning. I got to the Tan place and said Naw I'm just stopping at Wegman's and going home. I grabbed the dip and this lady comes up to me and says, " Did you used to work at the hospital? And your mother work at Cable? I said yes. She said I saw you here earlier and wanted to talk to you but I was too afraid. I told myself if I saw you again ( she's a Wegmans employee) I'd make myself talk to you and here you are." At this point I was thinking, "How do I know her and where is she going with this." She went on to say 11 years ago my daughter committed suicide and I was in the Psych Unit. You were the one person who gave me hope. You're the reason I'm here today. You even came in on your day off and you said something I practice to this day. You said your daughter is still with you. Look each day for a sign that she's here.WOW!!!! That was a powerful story and I can't tell you how it moved me. I've always said each life touches another in ways we'll never know. 11 years ago I had left my job at the county, had gone through a horrendous Family Court battle with Terry and was in an abusive marriage. I felt relative purposeless. Yet God used me to reach that women. Amazing. I told her how powerful her words were to me and said to never again be afraid to say something to someone because she was very worthwhile and had a story worth sharing.

life in clifton
Today was a gorgeous day and I found myself at work. Ugh!!!! I wanted to go see Devil wears Prada with Riss but she went with Audrey and her parents. Such is life. Tara is soaking up NYC like a sponge now. . Em spent the day on the boat with the men in her life (her husband and father). Brenda Rider decided to take the job in Newark so I'll be looking for a new counselor. Had a talk with Marty today in an effort to get some things off my chest. We'll see where life takes me........ Oh Tara's Nintendo finally arrived. OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!

life in clifton
I have been thinking about Tara so much today and then Em called and said she was trying to call her but no answer. I hoped she was doing something fun and as it turns out she was. Good news. Em and I both said yesterday that when we see her again we're going to be so skinny she doesn't even recognize us. Thank you God for watching over my little girls. ( they will always be my little girls).

life in clifton
I heard from Tara. Actually I got her call in church right before I went up for communion and to pray at the rail. I left and called her back as I was walking to my car. She asked me to pray for her and of course I already had. I think it'll take her a little bit of time to adjust. She'll be teaching in Manhattan. I put together a Care package for her and that felt good. I hope she gets aclimated. Em fell in her pool today with her clothes on. Silly girl. Sorry I missed it.

life in clifton
What an emotional day. Tara left for NYC and of course I cried my eyes out. Em and I went shopping and Mom was gone for quite some time at Alex's graduation which was nice because I just wanted some alone time to reflect, collect myself. I need to redirect myself in terms of career. It's time for a change. There seems to be many ethical challenges plaquing me right now. I want to be part of a healthy change at work or I want to move into something different. I need to write a couple of essays to gain entry into Empire for my Masters so this week that is my goal. Knowledge excites me so it's okay by me to once agaion be on the path of education. I remember the first Fall in which I wasn't in school: I was so bummed that I actually left work and went to our local college campus and just hung out there. I am a pretty strange duck! Today I'm not sure what I'll do but at some point I must see Click. Both Em & Tara highly recommend it and they are of course my personal Siskel & Ebert.

life in clifton
Well here we are July 1,2006. I didn't say rabbit, rabbit this morning prior to getting out of bed so...... Yesterday OASAS finished their audit and we were faced with many moral and ethical dilemmas. I am proud at the ways in which I've grown over the past ten years. I can now stand up for myself and people on my team. I believe in myself so much more today. I also got a call from TJ asking about Brenda ( an employee) and I think she is going to be hired away from me. I think Brenda's great and have grown really close to her so I'll miss her but it's time for her to fly. Em and Shawn seem to be doing well. Today is Em's last day at work. WOOO HOOO! Lucky her. Tara leaves for NYC today. I so admire her ability to forge a new path. She is courageous and self assured. If I've done anything at all as a parent it's giving my children the ability to believe anything is possible. God knows we never had money but if you have the power of dreams I think you're set. It also speaks to the kind of spirit the girls ( they hate when I lump them together like that) have. I can't say enough how full my heart gets with gratitude when I look at my kids. I have done nothing in my life that warrants the blessings I've received from Em, Tara and Marissa but I'm eternally grateful. I'll write later today. For anyone just passing by this is not the world's most fascinating blog. For us, it's a link between mother and daughter's and sisters and sisters. We are never going to be the type that says I shoulda. WE JUST DO IT. Our mantra, " I will not live my life regretting things I've done. I'm more likely to regret the things I didn't" We got that lesson early on when Em had a chance to dance with the queen at the Renaissance Fair but didn't. Ever since then it's been , " If you get the coice to sit it out or dance WE DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!