Well Tara and Dave came home on November 16th. Dawn & Vic put on a fantastic meal at Essenhous. The wedding was beautiful. I was struck by how thin Tara has gotten. Steve really enjoyed Dave's family especially Dave's brother. The two have similiar personalities.I saw the pictures today and they are fantastic.I'm thankful today for so many things. Tara and Dave's happiness with their lives in Colorado, Em's pregnancy, Riss and turning out to be such a good kid, my new job. The list grows and grows. I'm already crying at the thought of Tara and Dave leaving but they'll be back in a month. I taught my last class at church last night. I'm thankful for the opportunity to meet so many nice people through that experience. It is a good day to live MacDougal. Isn't it?

Well I do not believe this week could get a whole lot better!!!!! I got the job at East House as Director of Crossroads residential services. That means I have to drive to the city but I think It's time I put on my big girl panties and did it. The people seem fantastic!!!! Then Em called this morning to say she is expecting .Yeah!!!!!! We figure she's due around the Fourth of July which was my due date for her. I'm sooooooooo excited!!! Tara and Dave come home in 12 days for the wedding. Marissa and I seem to have bonded again. I mean seriously if I could freeze a time frame this next couple of weeks would have to be it. I didn't even say "Rabbit, Rabbit" this month. Wow!!!! It truly is a good day to live MacDougal!!!!!

That should be TURNING things over to a Higher Power!!!!!

Well since Em and Tara have updated guess it's my turn. I've been teaching the First Place class and I'm amazed at reactions of people. Several people have sent me e-mails saying how I'm changing their lives. It's not me but something far greater. It's been very rewarding. My car broke down again since I wrote last. Another 800.00! Only money right? I'm going for an interview at East House on Thursday so we'll see what that brings. I'm during things over to a Higher Power. I've applied for several positions . We'll see what my destiny is. So why is it the best and worst of times? Well Marissa got her first car, Yeah. Tara and Dave are settled in. Em is wrapping up her Master's degree I'm blessed with many things but ..... There are times I miss when the kids were little so much it hurts. People said I'd suffer from empty nest syndrome this year and I can feel it creeping up on me. These past couple of days I've cried my fair share over missing Tara. I've been wearing her sweatshirt to keep her close. When Em was over I sat on her lap( think I might have injured her) and I just plain miss my babies. Life goes by so fast. I know this is a passage. I can't wait for Tara and Dave's wedding.5 more weeks!!!!!! I'm going to dance my fanny off. You guys stop rolling your eyes and groaning!!!!!!!! It's a good day to live Macdougal!!!!

YEAH!!!!!! I got my car back today. I immediately went and picked up my gown for Tara's wedding which I love. Then I went and got Nancy a gas card. I am still deeply touched by her letting me use her car. I've been pretty busy this week at work and adding FLACRA stuff on there keeps me hopping. Oh today I picked up Wegman's new ultimate Carrot Cake. I'll let ya know how AWESOME it is!!!!!! It's a good day to live MacDougal!!!!!

What a difference a day makes. 24 little hours..... Em was in a five car pile up on Friday but she wasn't hurt. I find myself thinking about the what ifs though. My car started making this knocking, clanging? sound and it smelled like burning rubber so I have it parked until it gets into the garage next week. Our wonderful neighbors ( Jim & Nancy) are going to let me borrow teir Matrix for the week. Do people get any nicer than that? Em took me out to eat at the Mexican restaurant , dress shopping( I actually founs something) and then for a massage. It was a fantastic day. I told my masseusse I wanted quiet relaxation and she honored that. Em's on the other hand talked throughoutbut she reports still enjoying it. We're going to go again some time and try Beau Monde in Victor. I found myself really missing Tara today and she said I could use her free voucher to fly out if I wanted. I doubt that I'll take her up on that for a couple of reasons 1. She and Dave should use it. 2. I'd have to fly out of Buffalo and into Denver which adds a couple of hours onto travel arrangements. #. I have a 50.00 off deal from jetblue that's good until 10/31 so we'll see what happens with that. Anyway I am reminded to enjoy the NOW. Mr. Dave celebrated another year yesterday. Wow. He's aqccomplished alot in a year. As a matter of fact all the kids have. Don't need to worry 'bout them one little bit. It's a good day to live MacDougal.
1:02 PM

So this morning as I was walking the dogs this feeling came over me that was overwhelming. I missed the time when the kids were little, toddlers. I missed the timespan so much I ached. I have never had that feeling before. I am thankful for all the fun things I did with the kids when they were little. Marissa graduates this year and I'm sure that has something to do with it. I saw Em yesterday too and that was nice but short lived. She sat on my lap for a bit while we were looking at the computer and I just hugged her and rested my head on her back. Nice. I heard from Tara and that made me miss her all over again. It's so hard because part of me wants to pick up and go to Colorado and part of me says then you'll miss Em and Marissa. I think it would help if I were able to visit a couple times a year and they came here a couple times. I'm sure it'll all work out. I've decided to pursue a Master's in Voc. Rehab Counseling from University of Wisconsin but can't do it until 08 cuz they are filled up. It's an online program but you go there the first week in August for orientation. I'm sure I thought of school because Sept. is around the corner and I have always loved learning. Who the heck knows? I heard something today that kind of hit me," I am what I have" I never want to be defined by what I have. I always want to be defined by the lives I've touched and I want my legacy to be as an encourager, believer, supporter. It's a good day to live MacDougal.

Okay here's my moving story of the week.I went to church today and at the beginning of the summer Rev. Spence asked us to write down our favorite hymns and he said we'd have a countdown. Well turns out the top five were Christmas Carols so today we had Christmas in August. The children's sermon was about this children's hospital in NYC that had nothing for children to have in their cribs by way of stuffed animals. Rev. Spence asked the kids to bring in small stuffed animals and they would get them to NYC in 2 weeks. I instantly thought what a wonderful home for Tara's beanies. They would be with some child in NYC and that's where she spent last summer student teaching AND that's where Tim spent his final days. As we went through the service the last song we sang was, ( you guessed it) Joy to the World. That was the song that we sang at Tim's service and then kept hearing at the most appropriate times. I had tears streaming down my face as I sang. That served as confirmation that the beanies belonged in NYC. ( I'll ask Tara first of course). I applied for a Guidance Counselor position with the Department of Defense in Colorado Springs yesterday. I'll know on the 28th what my ranking is. We'll see what lies in store . What an adventure. Dave and Tara are getting really domesticated. Dave got a new car and they are getting a puppy. Em is staying super busy with school but this is her last semester. What a lucky mommy I am to have such wonderful; daughters. Marissa, Travis and I went to Arts in the Garden yesterday. That was alot of fun. It was nice getting to know Travis a little better. I gave a tour to them because I had job coached there one year and I got to know alot about the place. It is indeed a good day to live MacDougal.

Well what a week. VBS was great. I had so much fun with the kids. They all learned words and music to the songs, even the little ones and it was the cutest thing I have ever seen!!! On Tuesday I was walking to Shelly's office when all of a sudden I felt a loss of balance and then when I spoke my words came out like nonsense even though I knew what I was saying. I waited it out, got through the day and mentioned it to mom and Steve who insisted I see a doctor on Wednesday. I called the Doc to make appt. and she said go straight to the ER. So I spent from 9:30 - 4:30 at the ER, had a Cat scan, ultrasound of my Corotid Artery and lots of blood work and lo and behold I had a TIA. I have to follow up with the neurologist on Tuesday. All I could think was, Here we go again!. I didn't tell anyone until Wednesday night because I wanted a diagnosis first.I am feeling fine now. Rev. Spence asked me how I was feeling last night and I said "Good" and he said ( this cracks me up) " You're lying to me" Isn't that hysterical? He said " you know we love you and we are praying for you" How special is that folks? Dawn called me this morning and that was so nice. I mean how rich am I?? Wealthy beyond measure. It's a good day to live MacDougal!!!!

The first day of Bible School was fantastic. Now I understand Tara's passion for teaching. Our churches VBS ( Vacation Bible School) has got to be the best around. No kidding they have it set up to feel as if you are in the Old West. The kids go from one area to the next so they all start out in the Sanctuary for opening songs and dances, then they go to theatre or crafts or chuckwagon or games and the fun begins at 6 . It ends at 8:30 in the sanctuary with closing song and dance. You end up losing your voice because you're shouting so much. Last night we did the story about Rahab and spies so I asked the kids, " Have you ever spied on anyone?" This one little girl raised her hand and said I spied on my mother and sister once when they were talking cuz I could hear everything they said through a vent. They were talking about secret stuff." Then Pat my co-leader said, " What did they say?' I said , PAT!!!!!!!!!!!' It was pretty funny. Okay that's my update today. I've got a pretty busy week so I'll do my best to keep you posted this way. It's a GREAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT Day to live MacDougal!!!!!
2:49 AM

I've been doing some per diem work back at FLACRA in the Voc. Dept. and it feels good. I think it made me realize my passion is actually in the vocational world not so much substance abuse. Then I'm looking at jobs and I see the VA in Canandaigua is looking for a Vocational Counselor. HMMMMMMMM?! Of course I began the application but I only have until tomorrow to complete it. This positionsays temporary but I spoke to my friend who works there and she said shortly there will be 3 permanent vacancies. So we'll see. I'm not getting my hopes up this time. But if I do get this I could always transfer to a colorado facility if I so chose down the road. New topic... There was a big article in Friday's paper about Steve Cady's family and the Steam Pageant and then today there was a picture of Steve and his son Caleb ( around 2 years old? ) on a tractor. That was a blast from the past. Things change quickly. So fun to see what the next page is. I'm getting ready for Vacation Bible School this week. The church is decorated in a Western theme. OVER THE TOP!!! Covered wagon, log cabin, I mean it's like an amusement park. Marissa went with me yesterday to help set up. That was fun. Ok for now.... It's a good day to live peeps!!!!!!

Well yesterday was rather terrible. I went TO FLACRA to see about doing part time work and walked away feeling so terrible about myself it wasn't funny. It was like I was begging them for a job in a department I created and successfully ran for nine years. Then I had mom stick dinner in the oven at 6 after having preset it. Turns out I set the oven on 500. No dinner!!!!!!Steve and I ended up laughing about it before I went to sleep but.....
Onto this morning . Got a call from Mickey saying Bill said they'd love to have me doing 19 hours per week while they find someone full time and that could take awhile so I can earn some extra money while I build up my Cookie Lee. Yeah!!!!!! Life is funny huh? You pretty much have to ride out an occasional bad day cuz a good one is right around the corner. It is a good day to live MacDougal.

Well I've moved on from Tully and it feels good to have closure. I'm(get ready cuz this is going to be hard to believe coming from me) going to start selling jewelry again - Cookie Lee. I'm also trying to pick up part time hours at FLACRA doing Vocational Counseling. I'm going to be teaching First Place at church on Wednesdays this September ( Diet Class) so I'm thinkin that this was the plan all along. Who knows what the year will bring? Mom and Scot looked at a place in Gypsum Mills yesterday. The idea is mom would spend overnights with Scot and Brenda. That would give us all a break from each other. We'll see what's in the cards. It's a good day to live MacDougal.

I finally heard from Tully today and they selected another candidate. All forthe best I'm sure. Initially I was disappointed but after I thought about the changes it would have brought I decided it wasn't the right time. I'm sure I was asking too much money but I wouldn't change any of that now. It'll be interesting to see what life hands me next. It's a good day to live Macdougal.

OK so Tara was standing outside the YMCA Get off my back!!!!

I went to church today and our neighbor Betty was sitting behind me. During hospitality moment I went over and gave her a hug and she said," I love you and I see God in you." Wow! Kind of blew me away. I took Marissa to get fitted for her gown for Tara's wedding and in walked Em. Oh My God she looked beautiful!!! Really I looked at her and thought , Who is this beautiful person. Her hair was shiny and she just radiated beauty.It seems to me as if she went from being 2 to being grown so quickly. I have a picture in my mind of her holding a balloon bouquet on her first birthday. I have a picture of Tara standing outside the YMCE holding her book bag on her first day of pre-school and Marissa eating a mrshmallow off a stick. I miss those days so much at times. I am so lucky to be a mom. It is a grand day to live MacDougal!!!!!!

I wrote a post earlier bit it just vanished. We decided to stay in Clifton for now because the lady with the Geneva house wanted too much. We're going to commit to one more year and see what happens with my job search. I still haven't heard from Tully and who knows what lies ahead. Saw a picture of Tara in Colorado and it looked gorgeous. She and Dave are doing well. Hard to believe I was saying goodbye to her at this time last week. It's a good day to live......

Yesterday I found a job posting at Hobart ( Internal candidates only for now) that sounds fascinating. It's Manager of Jumpstart which is an Americorp program that has college kids teaching preschool children that are poor . I'm going to keep my eyes peeled and see if they post it to the public. We decided against the house in Geneva for now because she wants way too much. We are going to stay here for one more year and then have Scot take over. Still haven't heard from Tully but I did e-mail them yesterday. Whatever will be will be. Tara and Dave are enthralled with Colorado. How great for them to follow their dreams. It's a good day to live MacDougal

I'm at a place where I'm trying to figure out, "What's next?' Come to think about it when haven't I been at that place? My babies are grown and forging their paths, doing a wonderful job I might add. I think it's time for Scot to take care of mom for a bit. I'm getting drained and it's not making for a fantastic relationship for mom and I. She deserves better. I'll keep ya posted as to what's going on through my mind. WOW!!!! Scary. It's a good day to live.

Well Tara and David left for Colorado yesterday and I've spoken to her several times today. They have been driving straight through and should be arriving in an hour. How brave they are. It was probably one of the most emotional days I've had.They left with mostly clothes so they are starting from scratch. I sat next to someone in church today who said that her brother had gone out to Colorado 5 years ago and absolutely loved it so that was encouraging. Then Rev. Spence put a picture of the Rocky Mountains up on the screen and I thought , There's my sign. It is a good day to live MacDougal isn't it?

Well today we had Tara's shower. It was nice to see everyone. Dawn had us in stitches. I really do like Dave's parents. They're pretty down to earth. Once again I feel like I'm back in summer of last year when Tara went to NYC. I started crying just thinking about the two of them going cross country yesterday and it keeps hitting me in waves. I know it will be good for them, I've just gotten pretty close to Tara this past year and the thought of her being away for four months makes me sad. I've always said my girls are my sunshine and it's never been more true. I can be having the worst day and I'll see them and light up. I still recall sitting in church and having Tara sneak in and sit next to me. She came early in the morning from Keuka. I felt absolute joy. Here's a neat factoid, I found a single penny on one of the tables at The Palace today. I told Tara it was from Tim and her grandparents. I found one at graduation too. Coincidence? I think not. I was really proud of Em today. She made a huge amount of food, got gifts for everyone and was the entertainer. I read her card to Tara and cried my eyes out. She quoted her uncle Tim and said, " Remember those small towns will always be there". That of course reminded me that we never know when it will be the last time we see someone and of course I am crying now. I will end with.... Take good care of my baby. It's a good day to live MacDougal!!!!!

Yesterday I had a great day with Em, Tara and Marissa. We went to a bridal show and Tara won alot of great things. It';s a good day to live MacDougal!!!!

life in clifton Here's something I found today that touched me deeply.
First I was dying to finish high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
And then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could get back to my career.
And then I was dying to retire.
And now I am dying...
And suddenly realized that I forgot to Live.
Dance While you can.
I will not stand to the side and allow the music in my heart to fade away and die. I will dance to my own life song.I want to dance with my loved ones to watch our dreams unfold one by one.I will stop looking back with regrets or looking forward with fear and give the best I have today.I will quiet my soul... silince the noise in my head and heart and ask myself what I really want out of life.I will slow down, set limits on my committments and work and make certain that those whom I love remain first in my life. I will not allow the pressures that bear down upon our lives to get wedged between us and keep us apart.I will share your hope's and dreams and desires. I will believe that you can turn your dreams into reality.I will make truth the hallmark of my life. I will have the courage to make decisions that I stand behind without wavering.I will stop complaining about what I don't have and I will learn to be truly grateful for what I do have. I will be content though not complacent.I refuse to allow my past to determine my future. I will make the necessary changes in my life to ensure that I am truly living consistently with what I want to be in my heart and what I say I believe in. I will remember that money is only material, that titles mean little, but that who I am is what really matters.

I've been coughing for over a month and finally went to the doctor's on Tuesday. I have a viral infection and viral laryngitis. On tuesday and Wednesday I had no voice at all. I'm starting to feel better I'm just very tired all the time. This bothers me because normally my energy level is rather high. In order to get off the pity pot I volunteered to deliver meals to shut ins today. I now have an attitude of gratitude. I met many wonderful people who were so lonely. Mom and Steve are both sick now so I've been taking care of them. I broke my glasses. I took them out of the case and one of the arms fell off. I'll have to get them fixed. OK that's enough for now. It is indeed a Good Day to Live MacDougal.

life in clifton
So for anyone new let me explain the cast of characters. My husband's name is Steve. I have three daughters; Emily married to Shawn, Tara engaged to Dave and Marissa at home. I have three stepsons; Casey married to Jenn with a daughter named Camryn, Stevie and Mike. My closing line; It's a Good Day to Live MacDougal comes from an awesome song Marissa wrote. Guess that's the basics